It has finally arrived. The day of the week that almost feels like a holiday is around the corner because people are wearing jeans to work, listening to music louder than usual, talking about where to go to lunch and lazily walking around the office because it is Friday, and no one cares how much work they really get done. It is a day where people sneak out early. Anything goes. Ahh Friday, how I have missed you.
The day could only get better if there was a little more warmth in the air. With a high of -13 Degrees, chilliness is in the air. Between staying in the warm house and leaving to go somewhere in the arctic tundra, I choose the indoors (which I usually don’t do). But alas, I did have to go to work this morning and despite the weather, my coffee stayed warm as always (I also got just a bit of satisfaction by making Cory get up and drive me in the cold on his day off. Oh the small things that shouldn’t make me smile but they always do).  It is on this cold morning though that I am wishing I had my slippers and pajamas still on with a hot cup of coffee in my hands (at least I still have the coffee). It is on this day that I am thinking there must be better things to do inside than go outside and have your eyelids freeze shut (Ouch. I literally just pictured that in my head and am wondering why I choose that analogy). So behold the list of today:
Things to do Inside when it’s too Cold to go Outside:
·          Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
o   (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
·         Try to not think about penguins
o   (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
·         Use your secret mind power
o   (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passerby and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
·         Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
o   (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
·         Try to swallow your tongue
o   (Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.
·         Invent a weird twitch
o   (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.
·         Make a low buzzing noise
o   (Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts. Also works on mother-in-laws.
·         Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent (Umm, is it weird if I already do this?)
o   (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
·         Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
o   Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke.  Best to do with people you know.
·         Have a water gargling contest
o   (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Put a glassful of water in your mouth and see how long you can keep gargling for. Award yourself extra points for loud and amusing gargling noises, and minus points if you laugh.
·         Pick up a dog or cat so it can see things from your point of view
o   (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog or cat has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
·         Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
o   (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
·         Take your fish outside and leave them there
o   (Amusement Potential: Depends on how cold it is that day)
Seriously, how fun would this be? Fish really are pointless pets and they are also cheap. I’m not the first one who thought of this.  
There you have it. Boredom solved. J Tonight, my friends, I will be getting back in touch with my childish way (Yes, more than usual) and go to a play complete with puppets and songs. What more could a girl ask for. I will see all of you on Avenue Q (which is the play I am going to go see.)
Until Saturday morning, go forth and have fun. It is Fantastic Friday for Fun!
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