Woop Woop! Let’s give it up to Friday.
Sometimes, I just can’t contain my happiness.
Today is one of those days.
I would first like to apologize to my coworkers, who were welcomed to work with an overly loud Good Morning. To top it off, I also am wearing my favorite furry boots. I feel like an animal when I wear the furry boots. (I actually think that when I walk in the snow, I will leave paw prints behind.) Yes, today is definitely one of those days where my excitement and happiness just can’t be contained. I would also like to apologize to Cory, who got to me first this morning. In my excitement and happiness, I woke him up by opening the shades, turning on the lights, and saying “Hurry!Hurry! I am late for work. Go make my coffee! No time to put pants on!!”. Now, this wasn’t the case, but for some reason I felt I needed to wake him up in a rush (Sorry, Cory). Deep down in that mean place of myself, I feel satisfaction when I do this and it makes me smile (Again, Sorry Cory). Thirdly, I would like to apologize to my long lost friend who I reconnected with and whom I wrote a novel to this morning in all my joy. If you don’t read it, I understand, it is a long one. A really long one (but I am so thrilled that we crossed paths once again in our life.) Yes Friends, today is a day that is going to be filled with Pure Innocent Joy (and caffeine which I have yet to have. Maybe I should apologize to my co-workers once again).
It is on days like this that a laugh it easy to come by and feeling good is transformed into feeling great. It is a day like today that I don’t want to make you all think too hard but still get a good hoot out of what you read. This is why I have chosen this list for today. Enjoy Friends!
Guaranteed Not to Tax Your Mind
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.'
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'
7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true, no bull!' exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because', he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain and is named 'Juan.' Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
19. And finally, there was the person who posted different puns to her blog, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make people laugh. No pun in ten did.
There you go friends. I believe this is a great list for today and hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
I know that it is going to be a great day when I can’t contain my happiness and people are telling me I should go for a run to run off some of my energy (yes, sometimes I am like a four year old). Joke is on them though, because the day has just started and I have just taken my first sip of coffee (Insert evil laugh here. Plus, I don’t want to leave paw prints all over J)
Remember, we are all weird in our own ways and it is what makes each and every one of us Beautiful! Go on with your beautiful selves and conquer this day!