It is once again the blissful day that is the end of the work week. The day of happy times and joyful moods. TGIF Friends, for it is once again Friday Morning!
On this morning, I am drinking my coffee (with Hazelnut) and eating a piece of lemon pound cake from Starbucks®. Yeah, this Friday is going to be A-Okay in my book. As you all know, I a) love cartoons and b) saw a/n(uncouth) Sesame Street (ish) play this past weekend. With these things in mind (and because I saw an episode of ‘Read Between the Lions” yesterday) I would like to take you guys back to the letter A. The letter A is the first word in the English Alphabet (A is for Apple or Alligator or all of the above J). Anyways, what I am getting at is the English Language and how ridiculous it really is. Have you ever sat and thought about how hard our Language must be to learn. For all of you Bullies out there (P.S. Bullying is horrible and no one should have to be bullied in their lifetime), anyways, for all of you Bullies out there who think that everyone should speak our language, really think about how hard it must be. I have my point and case listed below. On a side note, this is actually quite interesting and humorous at some points, so sorry for the rant on bullying (it is bad) and enjoy this little segment to what I like to call:
The Reason Shakespeare is Tuff to Grasp or Explanations of Why People Flunk English Class:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on..
English was invented by people not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.
Well, there you have it, a glimpse of the weird and fun English language. This goes to show just how crazy we all are because I bet each and every one of you read all of those sentences correctly. So yes, the unanswered question is now answered. We are all a little bit crazy. J
This weekend, my house is also going to be a little crazy. We have four guests coming tomorrow and staying until Sunday, and our house is also the venue for the craziness that will be a cast party for Cory’s show. As I get further and further into the theater world (Thanks, Cory) I have learned one thing above all. That is, when you get a bunch a theater people together in one place, I will always look like the somewhat normal one (which says a lot). I don’t mean this in a bad way towards them; it is just that everything is, well, a little more dramatic. J It is going to be a great time, so bring it on Cast of Avenue Q. I am well prepared (as well as I can be I guess).
I hope Friday treats everyone with fun and laughter. Remember to count your blessing each and every day, don’t be a bully, and don’t worry that you’re a little bit crazy, because we all are!
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?