Okay, so it really isn’t the end of the World as we know it, but I am almost positive (almost) that there is some strange force out there that wants to make all northerners believe that Spring is around the corner. I could have sworn that the apple’s in orchards were in full (okay, so that might of happened in my dream, so what), but the grass is green (kind of like a poopy green) but is it still grass. At the end of January! I have yet to pull out my winter coat and snow pants for the season. Spring is in the air people. Because of how nice the weather has been, the superstitious (me) are beginning to think that something bigger is in store for us besides the Good Old Northern Winter. Where are the negative degrees and the soothing sounds of scrappers on car windows? So, back to reality, we all know the world is not going to end, but if it did, how would it go. Because of the strange weather phenomenon, I can’t help but think that stranger things could happen. Enter Friday’s list:
The Most Spectacular (Or not) Ways the World as We Know It Could End
· The Second Flood
o Only this time it is beer. It’s not the fact this time that people haven’t prepared for the flood because we in fact did listen to the main man building a ship, it is just that everyone was too drunk and forgot how to open the doors.
· Grokked Out of Existence
o This is the eventual fate of Earth, if we can’t pull it together by the time the Martians decide what to do about us. Ever since realizing that we had reached the ability to travel through space, they’ve been trying to decide whether they actually want to have contact with us. But before they make decisions, Martians have to grokk all the variables involved. In this case: us. There could be some among us now…..
· FYI: To grok ( /ˈɡrɒk/) is to intimately and completely share the same reality or line of thinking with another physical or conceptual entity.
· Suspicious Buffet
o Okay, so each and everyone one of us loves food. Free food though? Free food comes close to comparing to Christmas Morning. People from the woodwork make an appearance wherever there is free food. Families, some families live for these offerings (Heck, I live for these). Not one person will deny free food and this is why, when the world opens the Free All You Can Eat Buffett, no one will think twice that this could mean the end of the world, but how sweet (or salty) it will be.
· Toilet Paper Extinction
o There 50 people to one toilet stall in the nation (based on a very reliable Google search). This means that the end of the world is going to be very (very) messy. We will all be stuck sitting or squatting and waiting….and waiting….and waiting…..
· Zombie Apocalypse
o I mean, come on, there are already how-to movies and books on how to survive this, but there is always that one Zombie that stays alive because someone forgot to ‘Double Tap.’
· Snakes on a Plane
o Honestly, how many planes can Samuel L. Jackson be on at once
· The Stupid Epidemic
o This may have already started to take over in some areas.
I am going to leave it there. There are many more, but I will leave that for you to fill in. J I hope your Friday treats you well. Only a couple more hours until the official start of the weekend and it can’t come soon enough. For those that have snow at the end of January, consider yourselves lucky. Those that don’t, beware. It may smell like the glorious smells of Spring, but someone is playing a cruel joke on all of us.
On a side note, I Just looked out the window and the outdoors is covered with snow (was it supposed to snow today?). Sorry friends, but this whole post is moot.
(You can thank me later.)